Trying to win the war on pain

Over the past 15 years I have struggled with pain and it can be very frustrating. When I wake up the first 15 minutes of my day are the worst. I even bought a new mattress this year to try to help my body so I would not wake up in so much pain. The mattress helps, but it’s not until I get up move around, do my morning stretches. I wait until my muscle relaxers and pain medications to kick in then I start feeling better. Although that is just temporary because I still have to taking medication and stretch throughout the day to help with my pain level.

After I left the rehabilitation hospital I was on all sorts of medications, but after a couple of years I took myself off of them. For about 7 years I didn’t take any medications and it was great. Then everything changed and about 8 years ago I started hearing a strange popping sound in my left hip. I thought it was nothing except my body popping like when I crack my knuckles, well I was wrong. I don’t have complete feeling in my pelvis where I heard the hip popping sound, so I couldn’t fully understand what was happening. After I got some x-rays I found out that my left hip was actually popping in and out of the socket. I have a complete spinal cord injury at the mid-chest level, so I can’t feel the hip, but my body reacts to this pain in other ways. I thought I would be a candidate for surgery, but after going in circles with many doctors around the country, there was no easy solution except to go on muscle relaxers and pain medication.

I have lived with this hip issue for about 8 years now and it continues to get worse. The hip is so bad that I have bone spurs on the top of my femur bone and the hip socket is barely a socket at all. It is just bone rubbing against bone, and the hip after many years is completely dislocated. It has affected how I sit in my wheelchair and my everyday life. If I am in my wheelchair to long I have to get out of it and stretch out a lot. Just recently my right hip has started making the same popping noise that my left hip did when it first started sliding in and out of the socket. It is hard to explain to people sometimes how my hip is dislocated, yet I can’t feel the actual hip, but how it makes me have pain. My body sends me signals when I am in pain, like shooting pains up my back, severe muscle tightness in my back, sweating and sometimes major headaches.

Since I have to take pain medication everyday, I have to deal with the side effects, like drowsiness. I work full-time so everyday I load up on caffeine. People tease me because I drink Red Bull, but I don’t love it, it keeps me alert. Even though I am from Seattle, the Starbuck’s capitol, I am not a coffee drinker so Red Bull gives me my wings. My pain doesn’t stop there because I also have pain in my back from the metal rods and screws that are holding my spine together. That pain always radiates to my neck and I use a natural pain relieving cream to help as an alternative. I found a pain relieving cream that has a nice smell. It is better then Icy Hot, so now I don’t have to bother my co-workers with that strange smell Icy Hot gives off. The pain relieving cream is really great, and I have been able to use it on my sore muscle spots in my back and neck. This has helped me so I do not have to take so much pain medication. I don’t think some people understand that being in pain all the time is actually really tiring. Just dealing with the pain is a pain, there’s no other way to describe it. I have accepted that I will probably have pain the rest of my life, but I will also not let it slow me down. I will continue to look into alternatives because I would love to get off all medications. I just hate taking pills. I have also looked into getting a surgery where you get a pump implanted into your stomach and the medication will go straight into your spinal cord. I just haven’t gotten it done yet. Life goes on and I will continue to do my stretches, take my meds, make sure that the way I sit in my wheelchair correctly, and go get the occasional massage.

Tammy Wilber
~Waiting for a pain free day~